The holiday season can be challenging.

Have you got the holiday blues?  The Christmas/Holiday season can stir up a variety of feelings for most people.  Some of those feelings may include depression, worry and unhappiness with your relationship.  Many people find that therapy helps them cope with their feelings at this difficult time of year.  If you are reading this during a pandemic, additional stress comes from being isolated and cut off from family, friends and others you care about.

For many, the holiday season stirs up memories of happy times from the past, or of  painful, unhappy times. And then, for those who remember pleasant childhood holidays, they may be surprised at how different they are feeling this year.  Still, for others, they may have had so many unhappy holidays, that just noticing what time of year it is, triggers feelings of unhappiness.

For couples, any feelings of holiday unhappiness may increase their frustration with their partner.  Many people feel hopeless that things can ever change in their relationship.  This is especially true if attraction for your spouse has been slowly fading away.  By the way, if you have too much hurt and resentment building up between you and your spouse, you may want to look at this blog article on dealing with a big stack of hurts and resentments.

Some Solutions:

There are many things that can help with holiday blues.  Many of them are common sense ways of taking care of your self:

  • Make sure you are getting plenty of sleep
  • Eat healthy.  Balance any holiday indulgences in sweets with plenty of fresh fruits  and vegetables afterwards.
  • Don’t increase your alcohol intake, even though it is the holiday season.
  • Don’t isolate from friends.  Continue to call them and get together with them.  If you don’t have friends, get out of the house where you will be around people. Of course, during a pandemic, you may need to keep contact through phone or computer, rather than seeing people in person.
  • As difficult a time as it may be, remind yourself that you will get through it.
  • Consider talking to a therapist.

For relationship problems: Don’t make any sudden decisions this month.  Seek out professional help if you are falling out of love with your spouse, or if you are both in frequent conflict.

And Finally:

Please see some of the other articles on this website for suggestions regarding depression or unhappy relationships.

If you never saw my free report “10 Simple Ways to Revitalize Your Marriage”, I invite you to download it now.

You can always reach me through the contact page of my website: petalumacouplescounseling.  If you have any thoughts, comments, or questions about this article, please post a comment below.

Donald Wallach offers couples counseling and individual therapy to those living in Sonoma County and Marin County. He helps clients find solutions to marital problems in their relationship. His office is in Petaluma and serves the surrounding communities including Cotati, Rohnert Park, Novato, Santa Rosa and Penngrove. He enjoys helping others have happier relationships and more fulfilling lives.

If you have any questions about this article, you are welcome to write Don Wallach, LMFT at his website: or call at (707) 583-2305.

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