All the Social Social Skills in the World.

There are thousands of socials skills that exist in the world.  No one can possibly know all of them.  I don’t know all of them, and you don’t know all of them either.  Social skills are not only the things we say, but also those little gestures and actions we do that make social interactions go smoother.     For instance, smiling when you meet someone, putting on a seductive look when you’re flirting, saying thank you when someone gives you something. Marriages and all relationships will benefit from these kinds of improved communication skills.  And yes, you can learn new communication skills for your marriage.

Here’s a social skill not everyone knows, though I think it will seem obvious to everyone who reads this.  When you come home from work, a likely thing to say when you walk in the door is, “Hi honey, I’m home”.  I can’t tell you how common it is for someone to walk in the door and instead start criticizing his/her spouse for not doing some household task or chore.  It could be something about the dishes, vacuuming, mowing the lawn or anything else.  Whatever it is, it’s not going to help your relationship work well.  The thing that will help it work better, is to remember to say, “Hi honey, I’m home…how was your day?”  The exact words don’t matter,  What matters is to start with something positive, not a criticism.  It’s just a simple social skill, but it makes a dramatic difference.  What do you say when you come home?

Some of the things I teach in the free report “10 Simple Ways to Revitalize Your Marriage” are social skills.  If you practice any of those steps, such as listening more carefully or taking your partner out on a date, you are practicing social skills – skills that make things work better between people.

Learning New Skills

While no one can know all the social skills, it’s helpful to learn some new ones.  It keeps you growing as a person, and helps you keep your relationships fresh and exciting too.  Some variety and growth can be healthy for a relationship and keep it from growing stale or boring.

Learning a new social skill is usually somewhat awkward and uncomfortable.  Anytime you do something new, it will usually be somewhat uncomfortable. So, if you try one of the social skills I recommend, you know you are on target if you are feeling awkward doing it.  It’s supposed to feel that way at first.  By the way, social skills could also be called communication skills.  And I recommend it, and you certainly can learn new communication skills for your marriage, or other relationships.

If you never saw my free report “10 Simple Ways to Revitalize Your Marriage”, I suggest you download it now.  You will also find some good social skills in the following articles and blog postings:

How to apologize and repair emotional damage to a relationship

How to handle explosive arguments

What to talk about on a date when you experience uncomfortable silence

If you look through my other articles, you will find many other social skills to try out at home.

Keep reading this blog for more social skills, coming soon.  Please let me know if there are any particular social skills you would like to see me write about, or any other relationship questions that you would like me to write about. I look forward to hearing what’s on your mind.

You can always reach me through my website: petalumacouplescounseling.  If you have any thoughts, comments, or questions about this article, please post a comment below.

Donald Wallach offers couples counseling and individual therapy to those living in Sonoma County and Marin County. He helps clients find solutions to marital problems in their relationship. His office is in Petaluma and serves the surrounding communities including Cotati, Rohnert Park, Novato, Santa Rosa and Penngrove. He enjoys helping others have happier relationships and more fulfilling lives.

If you have any questions about this article, you are welcome to write Don Wallach, LMFT at his website: or call at (707) 583-2305.

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